HOMESICK - THE ROOFTOP story
When I first got to Emory, I was excited, yet nervous and scared. I had never lived away from my mother before or had to deal with the challenges that accompany living alone. Even though it is not common for most American families (except wealthier ones) to have maids that cook and clean, that is not the case in Brazil. Middle class families and even what would be considered a "poor" family have maids. It is not common for children to help out with chores. Not because we are lazy, or because we don't care. It simply isn't part of the culture. Therefore, it would be a great change for me in college. I would have to learn to clean, do my laundry, and accept the responsibilities of living alone.
I did not know what to expect. After orientation, I was not scared anymore. I was enjoying my time here and I was managing my responsibilities. Soon, however, I began to miss home in an unexpected way. I didn't even stop to consider that missing home would be a problem. I started to feel nervous, anxious, and feel trapped. I stopped understanding the world around me in the same way I did before. I felt like I was becoming a stranger to myself. Two weeks into October, I acted impulsively, spent all my money, and decided to buy a ticket to go home for Fall Break. I thought spending a few days at home would solve all my problems. I did not stop to realize the problem might be me, and not where I was.
I had an amazing time at home; I felt like myself again. When I came back to school, however, nothing changed. I had the same uneasy feeling of not belonging in myself. I felt imprisoned. All I did was count down the days until I could go home again. I gave up in trying to adapt to Atlanta and make it my home.One day, a friend of mine asked me to come somewhere with him. I hesitated, but ultimately decided to go. We walked from Raoul and across the Bio bridge to a part of campus to which I had not been (where the Rollins School of Public Health is located). We walked into a garage building and I couldn't help but wonder where we were going. We took the elevator until we got to the roof. My friend just stood there, looking at the view. At first I was extremely puzzled. It was cold and I did not understand what he was doing. I finally gave in and started to stare at the beautiful view. It was so amazing, so free. We stood there for about fifteen minutes without talking. I just listened to music and stared across the sky.
I don't know what happened that day, and perhaps I will never understand, but I began to feel like myself again. I began to feel free. I wasn't anxious or nervous and as much as I missed home, I had a new desire to live in the moment and to be present. I realized I never gave Emory or Atlanta a chance. I hadn't gone out to explore the city or tried to engage in new experiences. The rooftop changed me, however. After that day, I looked at Atlanta in a completely different way. I was happy to be here. I learned that to move somewhere, I need to bring myself mentally, not only physically. From time to time, when I get stressed or nervous, I still revisit the rooftop and I get the same feeling of greatness.
I did not know what to expect. After orientation, I was not scared anymore. I was enjoying my time here and I was managing my responsibilities. Soon, however, I began to miss home in an unexpected way. I didn't even stop to consider that missing home would be a problem. I started to feel nervous, anxious, and feel trapped. I stopped understanding the world around me in the same way I did before. I felt like I was becoming a stranger to myself. Two weeks into October, I acted impulsively, spent all my money, and decided to buy a ticket to go home for Fall Break. I thought spending a few days at home would solve all my problems. I did not stop to realize the problem might be me, and not where I was.
I had an amazing time at home; I felt like myself again. When I came back to school, however, nothing changed. I had the same uneasy feeling of not belonging in myself. I felt imprisoned. All I did was count down the days until I could go home again. I gave up in trying to adapt to Atlanta and make it my home.One day, a friend of mine asked me to come somewhere with him. I hesitated, but ultimately decided to go. We walked from Raoul and across the Bio bridge to a part of campus to which I had not been (where the Rollins School of Public Health is located). We walked into a garage building and I couldn't help but wonder where we were going. We took the elevator until we got to the roof. My friend just stood there, looking at the view. At first I was extremely puzzled. It was cold and I did not understand what he was doing. I finally gave in and started to stare at the beautiful view. It was so amazing, so free. We stood there for about fifteen minutes without talking. I just listened to music and stared across the sky.
I don't know what happened that day, and perhaps I will never understand, but I began to feel like myself again. I began to feel free. I wasn't anxious or nervous and as much as I missed home, I had a new desire to live in the moment and to be present. I realized I never gave Emory or Atlanta a chance. I hadn't gone out to explore the city or tried to engage in new experiences. The rooftop changed me, however. After that day, I looked at Atlanta in a completely different way. I was happy to be here. I learned that to move somewhere, I need to bring myself mentally, not only physically. From time to time, when I get stressed or nervous, I still revisit the rooftop and I get the same feeling of greatness.